Today, we will deal with the ‘transformation’ in our series Clarity: Key to Your Transformation. So what is transformation? Quite simply, it is defined as, “Where you are now, and where you’d like to be.” It’s not just about changes – it’s about growth, and where you are going to evolve.
But it seems like such a big challenge. How do I know that? It’s because my clients are coming to me and telling me that they have set goals for themselves, but somehow they are still missing that success. They are still experiencing hurdles, challenges, obstacles, what have you.
I’d like to believe that it doesn’t have to be that way. I believe they are lacking something called ‘buy in’. So what’s buy in?
Let’s use an analogy: choosing between Product A or Product B. Let’s say we were attracted to Product A because of the features and its look and feel. We have ‘bought in to the product’. But we feel no such attraction to Product B. We may be given a comprehensive presentation on all its features, but we are not sure that we would choose it, so we tell the salesperson, “Let me think about it.” And usually that means goodbye to the sale.
Let’s analyse why you have not ‘bought into’ Product B. Perhaps the entire product demo made sense, but you didn’t like certain elements of the product, or disliked the type of customers who have chosen Product B. That little niggly feeling is a sense of ‘distortion’ which stops you from taking the next step with Product B.
Coming back to my clients’ feedback about encountering obstacles – they have charted their life goals, so what have they not succeeded?
That’s because you may have experienced distortion between what you have planned and what you actually believe/feel. Perhaps you were not clear enough in setting your goals. Perhaps you were influenced by somebody else’s negative remarks. Or perhaps even haunted by your own past (bad) experiences.
So if you could identify exactly what the distortion is, you would be able to take steps to neutralise it and clear the road to successfully achieve your goals.
What are some common distortions? They could be your limiting beliefs; low self esteem; or that you lack support from people around you. But guess what? All of these are ‘outside-in misunderstandings’ because they are just your thoughts about it. Even one of your past (bad) experiences that have happened, they are not relevant anymore now.
So you have to be very accurate in identifying the distortion – which part in your brain is playing it up. How do you catch a distortion? You cannot catch it during the thought process, because thoughts are so spontaneous. A more accurate signal is from your feelings, rather than your thoughts. When we accurately identify what is the distortion, then we can practise inside-out principles to meet our goals.
So have a think about your buy-in: what have you bought in, and what have you not bought in? Of course, you have to focus and stay in context; only consider those ‘buy-in’ that’s relative to your goals and aspirations. Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ and 10 years’ time? If I may use myself as an example: my goal is to go global. I want to take my message out to millions. I absolutely know there are people who will do well if they take my messages and advice, they will successfully transform their lives, joyfully, meaningfully and with purpose.
So go forth, and listen to your feelings. Find the distortions, and then apply the inside-out technique.
Love and light,
Nancy
