I have a nickname, called Happy Nancy. People don’t call me that without reason.
It’s an attitude, whether you want to feel good or to feel bad.
In this post (and my accompanying video), I would like to talk about ‘attachment’. Attachment is one of the Evil Roots, and I don’t mean this in a religious sense.
For example, when we were children, we were attached to a toy – remember that smelly pillow or blanket? We held on to it for dear life because it gives us a sense of security and comfort. That’s what I mean by ‘attachment’ – when our sense of well-being is so tied up with the object that we feel absolutely miserable when we lose it.
So, there are attachments to the physical things in life. What about attachments to old stories? An attachment to something that happened to you in the past? Such an attachment would naturally invoke fear because you are afraid that it will happen again.
This is not good at all. This is a mindset that you do not want; to cling to, whether it is a thought, an experience, a thing or a person. You have to free yourself and your mind from these experiences, both good and bad. Yes, even the good ones. If you are attached to the ‘good stories’, you may end up promoting and encouraging greed. Never having enough, always wanting more of something. You see where this leads to the thinking, “I’ll be happy when…”
Detachment is a deliberate attitude to cultivate, to be free from these experiences. I had a client who could not move forward because he was so afraid of the “what if?” He was clinging on to his old mental story (or experience) of being cheated by his business partners because he had neglected to check in on them. In this case, he not only learned a painful lesson but was also imprinted with a mental story of fear. It should be a case of taking the lessons and moving forward with better business processes going forward, instead of being emotionally ruled by his mental story and fear, and going to work each day with a controlling mindset. He eventually realized that he was in a state of inertia because he was unable to let go of his fear, and this was hindering his progress.
I was also a victim of ‘attachment’ in the past. And by holding on to these out-moded expectations of myself and others, I held a lot of fear and resentment within me. I resolved to be free of these attachments, and trained myself to let go of my anger and anxieties.
If you practise the attitude of not having attachments, you will gain the wisdom that nothing is permanent. Things / people / situations can come and go, yet we are not upset by these changes.
The only way to access our past is through the memory. Memories are not real. They are not happening now. Just drop it, or let it slide like water off a duck’s back.
If you want to lead a free, high-spirited and joyful existence, cut out the ‘attachment’ word from your life. And that simple yet profound decision is yours to make.